i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize