Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
