I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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