I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
