if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
