Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
