I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
