quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
And then he peed in my hair
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