It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
