he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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