i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
