I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
