If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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