Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
