I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Randomize
