Having a random hookup so left but love u
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize