You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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