I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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