peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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