there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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