Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
