great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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