You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
