i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's never too late to be topless.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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