It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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