in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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