I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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