life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just had sex on a roof
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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