I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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