I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
