Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
