You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
this will be a night to untag.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
