Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
