your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
