I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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