Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
