Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
