So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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