im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
