Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
