i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize