she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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