the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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