You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
