there was a trapeze. enough said
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize