Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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