U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
