i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
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