he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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