OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
