My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize