We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
