I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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