I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
