on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I love having hate sex.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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