OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
