all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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