Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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