Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
