he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
