I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
