In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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