Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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