yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
