Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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